Final Fantasy VI Strago/Gau/Shadow
Jillian
Shadow’s clothes seem way too tight for a ninja. Also, giant shoulder spike is probably counterintuitive to ninja-ing about. I always thought Gau was wearing a torn shirt, but his chibi portrait looks like a poncho. It’s a bit too mom-out-on-the-town for an orphaned wild child, especially when paired with the polka-dotted skirt. Strago is obviously a mess and appears to have woken up and thrown his mage-cape over his pajamas. Or, based on his red-nosed portrait, he’s just drunk.
Erin
I agree about the too tight clothes. Paired with the motorcycle helmet, I feel like I need more air. Gau…this outfit is pretty weird, but just finding out he’s a wild child..it makes more sense? Fred Flintstone meets Hunter S. Thompson? Good call with Strago on the pajamas, Jillian. He even has the matching bedhead. That cape collar is something else.
Joey
Shadow is as generic looking as they come, but I’m going to give him a bonus point for naming his dog “Interceptor.” I’m not sure if Gau’s top qualifies as a poncho, it’s so small. What it does qualify for, though, is being ugly. Strago’s outfit is a mess of assorted patterned cloth. I feel like even a clown would look at him and think “dial it back, old man.”
Jillian
Clown insults, ouch. Strago gets a few points for rocking the weirdest old man hair possible, with that ridiculously long mohawk and mouth-eclipsing mustache. Gau loses a few more points for what appear to be heel straps with no wraps. In Shadow’s portrait the red lining of his hood looks like a creepy smile–is he the clown that’s abusing Strago? If so, extra points.
Joey
Gau loses even more points for his sideburns-ponytail-flattop haircut. I disagree about the Strago haircut. There’s a time and a place for mohawks and senility isn’t it. I know this game is old, but I just can’t with these hairstyles. I suspect that Shadow looks like this under the mask.
Erin
I once had a crazy old relative who came to a party and insisted that Montell Jordan’s popular hit “This is how we do it” be played because it was her jam. Joey, I think that would be the equivalent to Strago’s senile mohawk. Also, I thought Shadow was a woman, pardon me for being a ponytail sexist. Overall, I think Shadow has the advantage…generic wins over tacky this time.
Final Scores
| Strago | Gau | Shadow | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Jillian | 4 | 3 | 5 |
| Erin | 3.5 | 2 | 5 |
| Joey | 3 | 3 | 4 |
| Total | 3.5/10 | 2.5/10 | 4.5/10 |
Final Fashionista 
