Fashion Panel | Final Fantasy VI Mog/Umaro/Gogo


Final Fantasy VI Mog/Umaro/Gogo


Ugh. Even Umaro has weird Patrick Swayze hair. I’m not quite sure what to say about Mog, he’s cute and I like that he dances, but compared to other moogles, he’s not that special. I can barely look at Gogo without retching.


Gogo LOOKS like vomit, that’s probably why, Joey. Honestly, Umaro doesn’t fare much better. Abominable Snowman Barney? Mog wins this hands down not only for being adorable, but also for his glass of wine, for grooming, and general lack of disgusting headgear.


This is a bit unfair since Gogo’s the only one actually wearing clothing, but I can’t ignore the resulting catastrophe. He’s like a post-shopping spree explosion at Jo-Ann Fabrics. Umaro needs to borrow some of Gogo’s spoils and cover up: those muscle rolls and World’s Strongest Man pose are not doing it for me. Mog is white in some instances and dingy beige in others: stop binge-drinking and take a bath.


It’s been a while since I looked back at these three and woof. My reaction to Gogo and Umaro are just as visceral. Still gross. Gogo is wearing one horn off to the side, not even unicorn style! Maybe I’m seeing this wrong? The lack of symmetry bothers me. Umaro would be just as gross even if he dressed up like his sort of look-a-like, the Great Grape Ape from Hanna-Barbera cartoons. Putting on my blinders and pretending Mog is the only one in this group.


I think I’m going to throw out a 1 (!) for Gogo. Everything about his look is offensive to me. I can’t imagine an outfit being significantly uglier than his. I also realized that Umaro is basically a white-furred ape. I don’t care for apes. I’m not sure if any clothing or fur-stylings would help him, but I definitely don’t approve of this nude look he’s got going on.


I’m going to try to find one good thing about Gogo because I feel bad about the ultra-dumping he’s taken. His, uh, dragon-bird-hat thing looks soft. Umaro needs a fur trim. Mog wins by process of horrified elimination.

Final Scores

  Mog Umaro Gogo
Joey 5 2 1
Erin 8 1 1
Jillian 4 3 2
Total 5.5/10 2/10 1.5/10

3 thoughts on “Fashion Panel | Final Fantasy VI Mog/Umaro/Gogo

  1. I think you guys misread Gogo here. He’s been living inside a giant land worm for an extended period. He’s probably been fighting other swallowees for food. His attire is likely cobbled together from the tattered rags of his murdered compatriots, worn more as trophies than fashion statements. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had flayed his victims and worn their skin to keep warm, covering himself to avoid confronting the horror of his transformation.

    Also, what’s the light / mirror situation like in there? What would you look like after years living in darkness?

  2. Good point on the worm’s stomach / mirror situation, but we won’t concede that s/he’s only able to dress in murdered foes’ leftovers. Gogo admits to flying belly-solo for quite some time:

    (Besides, how’s s/he going to kill anyone without a partner? All s/he can do is mimic, so at best the very first fight would have been a draw.)

    Based on that, Gogo either went into guttural imprisonment dressed that way, or snatched those clothes from long, long-dead visitors and yet managed to keep the wardrobe in great condition all this time. No holes, dirt, nothing so much as a tear.

    Intent confirmed, muumuu onion deliberate.

    • Maybe he systematically replaced worn out fabrics over time until he had an all-new outfit, a la The Ship of Theseus [1].

      Also, he can adopt new fighting styles, not just mimic individual moves. If he trained in the company of highly competent fighters before being swallowed, he could easily dispatch the hoi polloi that likely comprise most of Zone Eater’s diet.

      Finally, if you were a deranged psychopath who was wearing human skin, would you say, “Man, I haven’t fashioned a new flesh-mask in literally hours!” or “No, that’s not an old lady’s skin stretched into an epaulet. I’ve been alone in here for a long time!” *subtly kick human femur club off of stomach cliff*

      I’m willing to concede that taken at face value, Gogo is poorly dressed. I just think he’s probably an unreliable narrator.


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