Fashion Panel | Final Fantasy III Cast

Final Fantasy III Cast


This image seems to be the current canon for their outfits based on cosplayers, so we’ll use it. Okay, hoo boy…

Blonde guy: Some kind of dual-personality Medieval thing going on here. He’s part puffy-shirted prince and part chainmail knight. If he actually went into battle wearing that, everything except his organs and crotch would be protected, so great idea. Also seems to be emotionally attached to the giant gaudy green gem on his chest that is probably important but also ridiculously vulnerable to attack, theft, etc. His hair appears to be layered but is all one length which is 100% impossible.

Girl: I don’t hate this outfit. The super-high boots are stylish and yet look comfy, she seems breezy and lightweight but is covered up. The super-short tunic shirt over black tights is a bit college skank for me, but she’s so covered up that I think she can pull it off.

Gray-haired boy: What is this buckle vest thing he’s wearing? That might be the single ugliest item reviewed so far, or at least tied with FFII Guy’s haircut. He’s also wearing a purple hoodie over a purple turtleneck, under that gigantic leather belt vest. I’m pretty sure this kid has already died of heat exhaustion from all those winter layers, but if he’s still alive he should be shot for topping it off with skin-tight white pants and a crotch purse.

Brunette boy(?): Pretty sure this is a boy based on eyelash length. I almost approve of this outfit. I feel like the giant mage coat with large, floppy collar has been over done, but pairing it with the tie-like scarf makes it more unique. Also like his color palette, very earth-toned but pastel springlike. I think he’s got a bit too much flowy-ness going on with the flowing jacket and the black straps (that must tie into a bow in the back?) and that belt is obviously completely unnecessary. He’s also a bit overly matchy; his boots match his jacket sleeves/gloves perfectly. 6/10 because of the girl and brunette boy. Wait, I just noticed blonde boy has SPURS on his already-too-ridiculous boots. Deduction for that.


Yes, I think we should use the most recent images so we have more to judge. One can only critique 50 pixels so much.

Blonde guy: Doesn’t the chainmail go up to his crotch and perhaps is worn under his shirt? I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. That honking green gem on his chest is my biggest issue with him. Is he trying to make Kate Winslet jealous? And yes, it does seem curious that he is the only one with spurs. Is the implication that he rides while others walk? Rude.

Girl: This is probably my favorite so far. I didn’t have those types of college skanks at my school so the black tights haven’t been tainted for me. I could do without the cross, though.

Ponytail boy: Yikes. I know this series later gets super over the top with belts, but these things are beyond huge. I’m okay with the hoodie, but turtleneck seems like he’s ready for a Christmas party and not an adventure. His pseudo-fanny pack is also way too loose. How will you get at your supplies when your pack falls to your ankles when you let it go?

Brown-haired boy: I agree this one is acceptable. Especially if he tightens his belt. We’ve discussed how I like scarfs/ties but I think this is one of my least favorite ways to tie one. Despite this snafu, overall he looks pretty stylish.


Okay, I thought there was one guy and three women…evidently I had this reversed. Well, they’re all very pretty in any case.

Blond guy: Those are some sexy chainmail stockings you have on…I wasn’t aware they fit so snugly. I understand the concept of pairing contrasting textures, but puffy powder blue sleeves, probably a red velvet waistcoat with armor just seems ill advised re: fashion and practicality. And that necklace…if you’re out fighting…or gallivanting…or whatever it is you do in your spare time, get ready to be choked by someone.

Only Girl: Your outfit is pretty cute, I like the flouncy bottom of your dress. I think you should reconsider either the color of your boots or the color of your tights. Oooo or maybe switch with Puffy Knight and throw some chainmail up in there.

Gray Haired Guy-I-Thought-Was-A-Girl: You look the most comfortable out of everyone and I dig the Katniss Everdeen vibes you have going on. Your man purse is going to fall down though, ask Only Girl–she’ll help. Is it wrong that I want this outfit? Maybe with fewer buckles.

Scarf Man: Why do you need a capelet AND a scarf? I feel like I’m choking just looking at you. Are the fingerless gloves so you can turn those pages of your book? I appreciate your dedication to education. I think I had a swing coat like yours as a kid (minus the capelet, you lucky bastard). Overall, except for Blond Guy, these outfits are decent! At least no spandex!

Final Scores

Final Fantasy III Cast
Jillian 5.5
Joey 5
Erin 6
Total 5.5/10

Fashion Panel | Final Fantasy II Cast

Final Fantasy II Cast


Again, original cast image is pretty hard to judge. First, apparently capes became the thing in the year between FFI and FFII’s release.

Firion: I don’t think cape and bandana go together. You have to pick one or the other.

Maria: The high-top shoes say she’s ready to party, but the muscle-shirt tank top says no one’s invited.

Guy: Can’t tell if he’s wearing a skin-tight blue shirt or has painted his chest Braveheart style. Also appears to be pantsless, so can only judge on his cape, which doesn’t even have any movement mid-axe-swing. Probably some low-quality material that cost at least $5 more than his haircut.

Gordon: Dressed exactly like Guy except with snakeskin pants. Snakeskin does not go with the cape at all. And if we’re also judging hairstyles, everyone except Firion gets insta-KO’d–especially Guy with his Dumb and Dumber bowl cut. 3/10, with all 3 points for Firion’s bandana and hair.


FirionDissidiaModelEven though capes are cruise control for cool, FFII’s classes choose terrible outfits to complement them.

Firion: I actually thought Firion’s bandana was him having two-toned hair until I saw him in Dissidia. This bandana is even more useless than the Thief’s! Definitely the worst offender of the bunch.

Maria: Maria’s purple spandex say she’s ready to jazzercize.

Guy and Gordon: Whether it’s skin-tight shirt or overly detailed breastplate, it looks terrible and needs to go. And yes, bowl cuts are never a good idea. The outfits are terrible, but the hairstyles are the worst. Probably the worst in the series.


As the one with an outsider’s perspective, never having played FF games before, I have to say my first thought was, “these guys look like WWE wrestlers.”

Firion: …shoulder pads? Really? Guy‘s charging out there bare armed with an ax and you bring shoulder pads to the party? Shameful. Also I want your decorative Rainbow Brite-esque star boots.

Maria: Purple pants, purple apes, what I think are gold medallions (?), let’s do this. The power stance really displays her outfit best…the clear winner.

Gordon has obviously been crowned the King of Mardi Gras and is wondering how he got there.

Final Scores

Final Fantasy II Cast
Jillian 3
Joey 2.5
Erin 3
Total 3/10

Fashion Panel | Final Fantasy Cast

Final Fantasy Cast


Classic and at this point, pretty standard. Hard to judge the very low-detail original releases, so I’m looking at this image in particular from the PSP re-release. The Knight is a bit too pink and frou-frou. This is apparently where the MC Hammer onion pants for Black Mages originated. Also, wouldn’t wearing giant gloves get in the way of casting spells? The Red Mage looks pretty badass. Snuggie-like cape allows for movement and mystery, feather in cap is just jaunty enough. The White Mage is looking pretty elegant. She has a bit of a religious feel with the solid collar and total lack of shape–even nuns have some cut to their outfits.  Saved by the Red Mage.


Thief-ff1-pspI definitely agree that the Red Mage is the star of the show. I’m usually anti-hat, but feather-in-cap is too fresh to naysay. I’m actually a fan of the White Mage robes. They look so comfy. Like a Snuggie, but for casting magic instead of lounging around. One classic look not represented is the Thief. I’ve never been a fan of the green pattern-less bandana. If you’re trying to cover your hair to protect your identity, why is some hair sticking out? Shouldn’t a Thief have one’s face masked in order to conceal their identity? The Ninja does it! It’s not functional and doesn’t even look good. Still, it’s the only truly heinous outfit of the bunch.


Red Mage is the clear winner here…he’s Justin Timberlake in a field of Chris Kirkpatricks. But cuteness points to Black Mage and his floppy straw hat, comfy robe and pantaloons. He looks so ridiculous and unassuming that I’d think he’s basically the one you need to watch out for. No one expects the…Black Mage! The one at the top…who is that guy? The internet tells me he’s a knight. He looks like Dragon Ball Z, minus 5 points for his dumb headpiece.

Final Scores

Final Fantasy Cast
Jillian 5
Joey 6
Erin 5
Total 5.5/10