Who Wore It Best? | Bravely Default Dark Knight

BDFF_Dark_Knight
Bravely Default Dark Knight


Erin

Ooo sharpey sharp. Kind of like pokey ants? These are very similar except for helmet spikes and shoulder things. I think he wears it a little better because the hair flowing from her helmet detracts from the overall look. Gents.

Jillian

Like Batman meets Gundam.  The biggest differences here are the headpieces and boots.  Gents have a lot more crap on both, so I’m giving it to the ladies.  Why does he need five spikes on his head and BOTH spurs and a forward spike on his boots? They’re also gold, which is super shiny and counter-intuitive to being a “dark” knight.

Joey

As much as I don’t care for that boot/spurspike, I think the gents’ helmet actually looks more stylish. Also, if we’re going to mock the Templar for attention-grabbing crotches, the Ladies’ Dark Knight should receive similar critique. Gents.


Winner: Gents

BDFFtizdarkknight

Advertisements

Guilty Gear Xrd’s New Looks

My friend convinced me to pick up a copy of Guilty Gear Xrd (pronounced”ecks-erd” apparently); the latest installment of the Guilty Gear fighting game franchise. After finally figuring out how to pronounce the title, I jumped into the game and decided to check out some of the new additions to the roster.BridgetspriteaniThe series is renowned for its crazy character designs; most famous is probably Bridget from a bounty hunter boy cross-dressing as a nun complete with yo-yos, wheelie-shoes, a giant handcuff belt, and a possessed teddy bear that sounds like a demonic Barry White. Unfortunately he’s not in this game, so Arc System Works created some new characters for us to be confused by.

Guilty Gear Xrd‘s New Characters


Bedman-ggxrd-artwork

 

Bedman

First up we have Bedman. I’m not sure what I expected when I saw his name, he’s literally exactly as advertised. Usually I wouldn’t consider someone’s bed part of their attire, but he seems permanently attached to this one so I’ll make an exception. You would think that if you rode around in your bed all day, you’d opt for a softer-looking mattress, maybe even a Tempur-Pedic. The crazy wheeled spikes, crowned head, and giant hand seem to give off a menacing “don’t mess with me” vibe that conflicts with  hospital gown “I’m an invalid” vibe.

Also confusing are the screws inserted into his shoulders and the pronounced arrow on his forehead pointing at his face. I’m seriously not picking up whatever cards he’s putting down. I thought after seeing him in action I would understand him more, but his win quotes only make me more confused.
 
ramelethal

Ramlethal Valentine

There are so many things happening in this design I don’t even know where to begin. Actually, I’ll begin with the thing that seems the most normal: her coat. As seen in the start to this video, it’s really some sort of mouth complete with saliva and those spikes at the edge seem to be teeth that she uses in her attacks. The demonic balls with teeth and bat wings that hold her swords actually join together and can actually talk. The coat offers some modesty, but underneath she’s basically wearing the shortest of short-shorts and a belt over her chest. Complete with some random belts on her thighs because hey, it’s Guilty Gear.

The Valentine characters in Guilty Gear all seem to have animal-themed hats and Ramlethal’s cat hat isn’t the most offensive, but that doesn’t mean I like it. In fact, I’ve noticed that a large number of Guilty Gear characters have ridiculous headgear. I’ve already touched on the ridiculousness of Millia’s license plate hat, but there are even more heinous examples.

I’m not sure if anyone will ever top Faust’s choice of headgear which I’m assuming he got straight out of the Derelicte catalog: faust

Fashion Panel | Super Smash Bros. WiiU/3DS – Part 2

We reviewed a lot of the clothes-less characters in our last Smash Bros. Fashion Panel, so this time it’s nice to have some more “fashion” to dive into. Yes, fashion includes a tongue-scarf in this scenario.

This week: some animals that actually wear clothes, and Ike.
ssb_2

Fox, Greninja, Ike, King Dedede, Kirby


SmashBros_Fox

Jillian

Fox’s face changes shape every year and it looks like he’s adopted brown contact lenses this time around. He’s got this half-terrified, half “wah-waaah” look in his portraits that isn’t really befitting a star-travelling, universe-saving anthropomorphic fox. Clothing-wise, I like most of his color combos, although I prefer him with the traditional rusty red fur to help differentiate from Wolf. He looks especially good in #5, the salmon shirt with blue scarf, which is giving off a bit of a Nathan Drake vibe with those dark khakis.

Joey

First a disclaimer: After years of being beat into the ground by pro Fox players, I’ve grown an aversion to his stupid smug face. In fact, his profile picture in this game looks more smuggy than ever before and I want to play Smash Bros. right now just to beat on him. I agree with Jillian that the red fur is a must. Dead Daddy Fox would be spinning in his space grave if he saw his son adventuring looking like Star Wolf. None of the red fur options have a color scheme that scream “star ship pilot,” but #3 whispers “I guess I could be worn in space.” So that’s my pick. Random aside: did you know that the Star Fox characters are known in the Smash Bros. community as the “Space Animals”?

 

SmashBros_Greninja

Jillian

I had to look up other pictures of Greninja to figure out that that scarf is actually his tongue, which is freaking me out. One, because gross. Two, because it’s changing color on each of his palette swaps and I’m really concerned about the liver health of numbers 5, 6, and 7. This guy is just bizarre to look at and has way more of a robotic Digimon or Gundam vibe than a frog-Pokémon. If I were forced to play as him, I guess the yellow and black #4 is the least visually offensive. But what’s with the giant shiny opals stuck in his overly muscular joint sockets? And why the bat-like ears? Okay, honestly, I can’t get past the tongue, but this is to just to say, he’s a total mess.

Joey

Usually I’m a sucker for scarves, but I draw the line at scarves made of your own body parts. This guy is almost single-handedly keeping me from playing the new Pokémon. I prefer them cute and cuddly. Not weird and confusing. Jillian has already commented on all the upsetting things involved in his appearance. Really, I dislike them all but #6 is most similar to an actual frog so I’ll go with that one.

 

SmashBros_Ike

Jillian

I’ve only played one Fire Emblem game and Ike wasn’t in it, so there may be a canon reason for this–but with all these different colors, I wish his sword changed appearance, too. The gold works well in some instances (#5) and less in others (#8). His boots also have this really weird shape and gloss that make his feet look like they were copy-pasted from an N64 game. His headband/crown/sweatwrap is so dark in every palette that it might as well just be a braid of hair. Color-wise, I like him best in dark, non-shiny pants, so #s 3, 6, or 8 are the only acceptable variations.

Joey

Yay! Actual humans! Ike’s whole deal is that he’s supposed to be a gruff and tough mercenary-turned-hero. So I think a less royal color scheme works best in order to differentiate him from Marth. It’s a bit of a toss up between #1 and #3 for me. Some of the others (like #8 and #6) look okay, but they’re not a good fit for Ike. #5 isn’t a good fit for anyone.

 

SmashBros_Dedede

Jillian

King Dedede is the first character whose variations are actually interesting–the cloth pattern on his cummerbund changes with each color swap! Pattern-wise, I think something lighter and more subtle works with his, uh, figure. Wide stripes and checkers are just accentuating the fact that he spends most of his time in gourmet food races. #s 2 and 4 are figure-flattering, although I do love that #3 proves he has a Kirby cummerbund in his closet. For colors, I like the penguin-esque arctic look of #s 5 and 7, but since he is a “King,” he looks most comfortable and regal in #4’s royal purple, whose pink gloves are surprisingly not infuriating. Side note: his portrait is adorable and very “grade school picture day.”

Joey

Different patterns!? My god, Nintendo. You’ve really outdone yourselves this time. I’m not sure if King Dedede is supposed to be menacing or silly. Personally, he kind of terrifies me. If a fat penguin was chasing me with a giant hammer I’d probably wet myself. As mentioned before, I like my animals with more natural skin tones, so my pick is #8. The purple sweater makes him a little less intimidating, but I just can’t approve of a sky blue penguin.

 

SmashBros_Kirby

Jillian

After, what, 16,000 games?, it’s hard to picture Kirby as anything but the pink puff ball, unless you’re often relegated to Player 2 position. I really like #6, black-and-white GameBoy Kirby, but am terrified of #8, soulless eyes rotted jack-o-lantern Kirby. And while I know Kirby is something of a blank canvas on which adorable costumes and items are bestowed when you inhale someone, it still would have been nice to see more color variation here: stripes or polka-dots, at least. Favorite little touch: his cheek blush changes color with the rest of him. (Another reason #8 is so creepy: no adorable blush.)

Joey

Okay, obviously #1 is the best. Pink fluff balls should remain pink fluff balls. Kirby is going for maximum cute, so #3 also kind of works. The others evoke too much non-cute emotion. #4 has an angry (or too much hot sauce) vibe, #5 has a sickly (or too much rotten food) vibe, and #8 has an evil (or too much bowling ball) vibe. I think at some point we’ll have to get a gallery of Kirby with all his hats so we can discuss them.

Who Wore It Best? | Final Fantasy X-2 Festivalist

FFX2_Festivalist

Final Fantasy X-2 Festivalist


Erin

I don’t know what Rikku is holding or what that blob is near her head. I’m going to say she’s holding a bag of live goldfish and is eating cotton candy. I love her polka dot PJs. I would love to have Paine’s cute blue and pink short kimono robe, but the fascinator thing she has makes things a little strange. I don’t really have anything negative to say about Yuna, other than I still hate her rattail.

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Yuna Rikku Paine

Jillian

I’m glad the girls had time to throw a pajama party. Yuna’s rocking the traditional look and I love her explosive polka-dotted sash and overly-happy moogle sleeves. Rikku is all about comfort here, but her t-shirt has a nice asymmetrical angel cat detail that pops. Paine is combining tradition and comfort, but the chocobo mask and parasol are a bit overkill, and her cameltoe toes are distracting.

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Yuna Rikku Paine

Joey

Masks don’t work that way, Paine. This is not the ’90s and you are not a rapper. I like both Rikku and Yuna’s outfits. I’m pretty sure that they’re yukatas and not pajamas. Yuna’s gets a slight edge because I like the long sleeves and pattern a bit more. The moogle pictures could be cuter though.

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Yuna Rikku Paine

Winner: Yuna

YunaFestivalist

Crossy Road’s New Characters Reminded Me: There’s Something Wrong with Knuckles

Crossy Road has been my mobile addiction for the past few months, but there’s little opportunity to discuss voxel animals’ unclothed appearance here on Final Fashionista. However, the game’s most recent update introduced a slew of adorable Australian characters, including one that was familiar in name thanks to the Sonic the Hedgehog series, yet totally unrecognizable in appearance: the echidna.

CrossyRoad_Echidna

This guy is a ridiculously cute ball of spiky beaver/platypus, with an anteater-like tongue, pointy beaklike muzzle, and thick sloth-toes. Turns out, like most of Crossy Road‘s creatures, it’s a pretty accurate representation.

What have we been accepting as an echidna in Video Game Land all this time? Knuckles, who was introduced in Sonic 3 way back in 1994.

Knuckles_Sonic3

Even ignoring the ten-ton bowling shoes and evil Mickey Mouse gloves, Knuckles shares very little in common with the adoraball above. His “spikes” have been elongated into a bob of droopy dreads, his nose is a cross between Homer Simpson and a greyhound, and he has a randomly long lightning bolt tail (unlike the thick, stunted, and super spiny nub of real echidnas).

Sonic_Sonic3

Granted, Sonic isn’t a true-to-life hedgehog, but he at least shares specific traits with his origin species. He has actual spikes, pointy hedgehog ears, a tiny button nose, and even appropriately skinny legs. The blue might make a first-glance classification difficult, unlike Tails (who is so obviously a fox that you can still tell while he’s helicoptering around), but “hedgehog” is at least an understandable explanation for ol’ blue fur.

Knuckles_SonicBoom

Unlike this, which has become even less echidna-like over time. Knuckles in Sonic Boom has legs that are even longer, skin that is even smoother, hair-spikes that are even droopier, and a face that is even flatter despite his species’ relation to the long-beaked platypus.

Maybe he had his quills surgically removed and that explains the bandages. A nose job, eyebrow lift, tail enlargement, and boom: Knuckles the “echidna.” Possibly the first video game animal with an addiction to plastic surgery? Or he’s reverting to buff baby form, which falls somewhere on the spectrum between creepy and adorable.

(Oh, and we obviously still need to talk about Sonic’s scarf. It has not gone unnoticed.)

Who Wore It Best? | Bravely Default Salve-Maker

BDFF_Salvemaker
Bravely Default Salve-Maker


Jillian

If that’s a doctor’s head mirror, it makes some sense. I can’t get over the bra shoulder pads on the gents. Ladies, just barely.

Joey

As offensive as the ladies’ useless headgear is,  the bowling ball nipple-coverings and striped pants combined are worse. Ladies.

Erin

Gents, if only because based on her outfit I’d have no idea what her occupation would be. Poorly accessorized go-go dancer? He at least has a belt full of…salves?


Winner: Ladies

BDFF_Agnès_Chemist

Who Wore It Best? | Final Fantasy X-2 Mascot

FFX2_Mascot

Final Fantasy X-2 Mascot


Erin

I don’t know what reason they have for dressing up as these guys, but Rikku looks amazing in that cat costume. Bonus points for cute booties. Paine makes me uncomfortable. The blank staring eyes, the weird turtle-without-a-shell thing going on, the culty robes. No thanks. Yuna reminds me of an Ugly Doll. Cheer up, little cat bat bear.

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Rikku Yuna Paine

Jillian

To begin with, I’m ridiculously offended that Rikku is a cait sith instead of a cactuar. That said, her costume is the best. The aggravated eyes, tiny crown, red kerchief, and light cheek blush all create an adorable yet deadly combo. Yuna’s zombie moogle looks depressed and like it’s been peed on. Paine’s tonberry actually manages to make the second cutest creature in the Final Fantasy universe hideous. Take your hand off your hip, you don’t deserve to be cocky.

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Rikku Yuna Paine

Joey

I agree with Jillian that Paine has somehow ruined the tonberry look. Even her cactuar doll doesn’t save it. I’m also questioning the x-eyes on Yuna’s moogle. It would be so much cuter like this guy. Still, the eyes on the cait sith costume are too good at peering into my soul so I’m giving Yuna the slight edge.

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Yuna Rikku Paine

Winner: Rikku

RikkuMascot

The Minish Cap: What’s Up with Link’s Hair?

Link_MC_Profile

We’ve been watching AGDQ 2015 basically nonstop this week, but the current run of The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap reminded us that Link is hiding a pretty bizarro hairstyle underneath his classic green headgear. From the side, it might be considered simply bedhead (like many Zelda games, he does begin the game asleep). The front and sides are casually messy and in need of a trim, but the crown has been smooshed into a propeller-shaped hair Triforce that is almost floating above his head.

Link_MC_Back

From the back, we get a clearer view of what looks like a Flux Capacitor prominently defined by a black outline against the rest of his blonde waves. Is this some sort of triple ponytail? Is it the hair-mark of the hero? Is it just the current style in Hyrule? And how does it stay so perfectly pointy even after being shoved under Ezlo-hat?

We don’t know the answers to these questions. What we do know is Joey has an opinion on Link-hair vs. Link-hat:

Joey

There are very few situations where hair is less offensive to me than a hat. This is especially true for a hat as heinous as Link’s. I definitely think it’s an improvement and laud his decision to go hatless. In fact, I’m having trouble thinking of a hairstyle that would benefit from his ridiculous headgear. Maybe some sort of weird rattail/sideways mohawk.

Who Wore It Best? | Bravely Default Templar

BDFF_Templar
Bravely Default Templar


Erin

This armor is awesome! BUT omg that codpiece. There are practically arrows up by his shoulders pointing down to it. Again with the silly hair bow. Hair bow and tiara is a little much. I’m going to say gents win here, mostly because I can’t stop laughing at him. Ballsy.

Jillian

I have to give it to the ladies, even though I think she killed the Knight and stole her bow. The headpiece/crown works better with her hair, the feminizing orange accents are actually attractive for once, and her pose is totally “Come at me, bro.”  Gents…again, Erin has ruined them for me by pointing out the arrows pointing to the codpiece.  Also, from this direction, his “tail” thing is at a very unfortunate angle.

Joey

I’m going to throw in a vote for the ladies. The bow is necessary! How else will you know she’s female? It’s also more subtle than the aforementioned codpiece. Lastly, I won’t stand for the popped-collar armor that the gents are sporting.


Winner: Ladies

BDFF_Edea_Paladin