Who Wore It Best? | Bravely Default Templar

BDFF_Templar
Bravely Default Templar


Erin

This armor is awesome! BUT omg that codpiece. There are practically arrows up by his shoulders pointing down to it. Again with the silly hair bow. Hair bow and tiara is a little much. I’m going to say gents win here, mostly because I can’t stop laughing at him. Ballsy.

Jillian

I have to give it to the ladies, even though I think she killed the Knight and stole her bow. The headpiece/crown works better with her hair, the feminizing orange accents are actually attractive for once, and her pose is totally “Come at me, bro.”  Gents…again, Erin has ruined them for me by pointing out the arrows pointing to the codpiece.  Also, from this direction, his “tail” thing is at a very unfortunate angle.

Joey

I’m going to throw in a vote for the ladies. The bow is necessary! How else will you know she’s female? It’s also more subtle than the aforementioned codpiece. Lastly, I won’t stand for the popped-collar armor that the gents are sporting.


Winner: Ladies

BDFF_Edea_Paladin

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Who Wore It Best? | Bravely Default Spell Fencer

BDFF_Spell_Fencer
Bravely Default Spell Fencer


Jillian

Ladies. Sheer/transparent blue lace is not only hot, but really cool looking in video game form.

Joey

Ladies. The princess Jasmine look is always a winner for me.

Erin

Ladies. I don’t think anything else needs to be said.


Winner: Ladies

BDFTS_Agnès_Magic_Swordsman

Op Ed | Fantasy Life’s Life Fashions Part 3

We’ve already looked at the uniforms fighters wear in Fantasy Life, as well as what gatherers don for maximum rock-bashing and tree-slashing. This week we’ll dish on the final four classes’ base outfits, which can’t possibly be as bad as the Hunter. Right?

Blacksmith

Blacksmith_Girl
Blacksmith_Boy

The Blacksmith smock gives me definite “evil dentist” vibes, but its other primary offense is just being a giant blob of nothingness. There’s no shape to either gender’s silhouette and the back suspenders are the only thing preventing this from turning into a Homer Simpson-style muumuu. All this loose-fitting drapery is certainly a fire hazard for someone working at a red hot forge, and the lack of gloves is begging to add fourth-degree burns to the ensemble. The hats are just sort of…there. I guess the guy’s gives a hint of a train conductor which has a six-degrees-of-separation connection to Blacksmiths via coal, but the girl’s is too Three Stooges to take seriously. Neither one is as offensive as the pot-on-head Cook, but they speak to the uniforms’ fate as a whole: sent to the Fantasy Life equivalent of Good Will after the first day.

Carpenter

Carpenter_Girl
Carpenter_Boy

As much as I love the guy’s channeling of 1980s’ fashion in both colors and size of headband, his lack of follow-through to fingerless gloves ruins the attempt. His breezy tunic with utility belt seems functional enough for a Carpenter, but as a whole this is too plain for anything beyond a meh. Meanwhile, the girl’s white harem pants, pseudo-pirate shirt, and random crotch pleat come together in a surprisingly striking ensemble. Her headband is even larger than his and appears to be made up of two scarves tied together to form Paladin wings on the sides, which is ridiculous but strangely not infuriating. Since the only constant for the Carpenter’s uniform seems to be a giant headband and gloves, both in sky blue, I think she’s done the best job of accessorizing the basics while feeling job-appropriate.

Tailor

Tailor_Girl
Tailor_Boy

The female Tailor looks like a minimum wage shirtwaist factory worker from the 1910s. The male Tailor is what I imagine Tom Sawyer looks like after Aunt Polly forces him to clean up. Either way, not the brilliant artisans of Fantasy Life that can craft an entire outfit from a piece of dandelion fluff. These are so boring that I’m just going to use the rest of their allotted space to talk about the Hero outfits.

Turns out, once you hit the Hero level of a class, you receive a new and improved job uniform. These are 100% better than their Apprentice counterparts both in battle statistics and style. The Blacksmith is probably one of the best improvements, transforming your steel-worker into a leather-clad goddess of royal purple and Yuna-style armsleeves/gloves that provide both protection and class. However, the Tailor is still a huge disappointment. While most classes receive a slew of interchangeable items, from hat to shoes, the Tailor only earns three pieces: a single-item “dress” (despite it clearly being a shirt, topcoat, and pantaloons), forgettable shoes, and a nearly invisible pincushion accessory. It’s some sort of ironic punishment that the class who makes all the clothes in the game has the least exciting wardrobe. I can’t speak to the guy’s version of the Hero outfit, but based on Bowtie McYawnSnore up above, I imagine it’s not much better.

Alchemist

Alchemist_Girl
Alchemist_Boy

Okay, as much as I hate the Tailor’s outfit, I hate the Alchemist’s more. Those are, objectively, the two worst shades of green you could inflict on someone. The girl has reentered muumuu territory and won’t even need a “baby on board” sign to get a free seat on the subway. She has three buttons on her dress that are accomplishing absolutely nothing, and just to top it off, here’s a ruffled white collar in case you thought she was any younger than 82. The guy’s is moderately less disturbing since his undervest is at least slightly tailored. But it’s also too small and shows off a hint of white undershirt, while his blue leggings disappear into same-shaded blue shoes like an adult onesie. They’re both sporting the most bland and shapeless bandana imaginable in the same solid vomit-green just to ensure you’ll never stop seeing it when you close your eyes. The saddest thing of all is that these are the definitive uniforms for less-than-Heroic Alchemists: Fizz, the NPC apprentice who helps get you acclimated to the job, wears the exact same dress and seems appropriately depressed about it despite her brave face.

That’s it for the basic class outfits. The verdict? Sell your uniforms on day one and buy a less-embarrassing Shark Hat. Your Fantasy Life will be better for it.

Who Wore It Best? | Final Fantasy X-2 Trainer

FFX2_Trainer

Final Fantasy X-2 Trainer


Jillian

We’ve gone from way-too-small shirts to ridiculously oversized sleeves. Yuna is actually too covered up here and her color scheme looks like day-old vomit. Rikku’s colors don’t match at all and her neck bra straps are doing nothing for “the girls.” Paine looks both comfortable and powerful here, with workable sleeves, a flowing skirt, and velvety bodice. Oh, and Rikku has a goat on her head.

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Paine Rikku Yuna

Erin

The more I see Rikku, the less shocked I am by what’s going on with her. Of course she has a mystical goat on her head. Why wouldn’t she? It’s not so much the goat that is crazy to me now, its her ugly long sleeves. Paine looks like a pro with that bird on her arm and I like how the two are kinda matchy. Yuna, ugh. Day-old vomit is right, Jillian. All three women have too many things going on with laces in it. Biggest offender being the big blue skirt laces. Why why why?

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Paine Rikku Yuna

Joey

Monkey=auto last place. Especially monkeys on heads. So unhygenic. Paine’s darker colors work better overall and even kind of match her bird. Yuna’s outfit seems to fit her much better than Rikku’s, with less excess cloth around the sleeves and the hem. All three should be ashamed for their lack of leashes though. So irresponsible.

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Paine Yuna Rikku

Editor’s note: Joey was the only one who recognized Rikku’s headgear as a monkey. Erin and Jillian insist it’s at least a monkey pretending to be a goat.


Winner: Paine

PaineTrainer

Who Wore It Best? | Bravely Default Conjurer

BDFF_Evoker
Bravely Default Conjurer


Joey

I really like both of these, but I’m going to give the slight edge to the ladies. Those stitches around his legs and arms are a bit distracting, but I like the scarf and collar combo. It’s not as cool as the ladies’ double scarf action though.

Erin

They look like they’re wearing the traditional garb of their homeland. The colors combination is unique and I really like the orange and teal together. If I had to wear her headdress, I think it would be uncomfortable and annoying. Her dress is adorable but an awkward length. I agree the stitching on his robe is distracting, and I can’t quite figure out why his collar is part of the outer robe instead of the white shirt. This is tough. Ladies win this one by a small fraction

Jillian

They’re both interesting and using basically the same components in mostly acceptable roles. The red scarf collar / headpiece, the ring belt, and the balanced color combos.  I’ll give it to the ladies as well: her Yuna-style ringed arm sleeves are elegant and we can see her boots, which are stylish and adorable.


Winner: Ladies

Conjureragnes

Who Wore It Best? | Final Fantasy X-2 Berserker

FFX2_Berserker

Final Fantasy X-2 Berserker


Jillian

THUNDERCATS HOOO!! Not sure why Rikku has chosen to imitate a beast by being half-naked. At least she has a belt to hold up her…abs. Yuna’s gloves are comically oversized and the random hip cutouts are confusing. Paine manages to look moderately elegant in an otherwise ridiculous getup, has the best pattern combination, and seems to be distancing herself from the other trainwrecks.

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Paine Yuna Rikku

Erin

I definitely agree with you about Paine, Jillian. The cat-cessories aren’t overdone on her and it works. Maybe Rikku is trying to imitate one of those hairless Sphinx cats? Either way, the belt classes things up. Yuna…the giant paws, hip cutouts, and huge amount of cleavage make her outfit a little tackier than Rikku’s.

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Paine Rikku Yuna

Joey

I’m going with Rikku, but she would benefit from losing the stomach belt. Berserkers are all about throwing caution to the wind and sacrificing armor for offense. So Rikku’s skin-intensive look is doing it right. Paine’s colors have an artificial feel to them, so I give Yuna a slight edge for the more naturalistic look.

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Rikku Yuna Paine

Winner: Paine

PaineBerserker

Who Wore It Best? | Bravely Default Vampire

BDFF_Vampire
Bravely Default Vampire


Erin

Octopus buckles and bunny ears! While I give her points for trying to be less cliché, I’m leaning towards the gentleman vampire for his Dracula cape and dance moves straight out of Pulp Fiction.

Joey

Nothing says vampire like star socks. There are just too many things going on in the ladies’ rendition of vampire. Even a Twilight fan would complain that this strays too far from the source material. Gents.

Jillian

This is tough.  Seduction is helpful to luring in victims, but I can’t handle the randomly three-belted bikini bottom.  And the gents’ gray spandex tights are also ruining it.  Gents just because she topped it off with dumb bunny ears while he just has a random hair flair.


Winner: Gents

BDFFringabellvampire

Who Wore It Best? | Bravely Default Spiritmaster

BDFF_Spiritmaster
Bravely Default Spiritmaster


Erin

My mom wears her glasses that low down on her nose, too. The gray outfits are super washed out and I don’t think his sassy pose makes it look any better. Elvis hair and collar, and his feet look like little pig hooves. Her dress is very plain, but I can at least take her seriously at whatever her spiritmaster job does. Ladies.

Jillian

Agree with Erin 100% on the gents.  Ladies win; I like the combination of tie and dress, as well as the Alice in Wonderland-style hoop skirt. Even her bow is understated and elegant. The glasses are too low on both and look more like war paint, but forgivable.

Joey

You can’t take him seriously? Have you SEEN his tie!? So professional. Despite me obviously enjoying his outfit more than you two, I still give it to the ladies. P.S. Spiritmaster: best job in the game.


Winner: Ladies

BDFF_Agnès_Devout

Fashion Sound Bite | Conan O’Brien on Bayonetta 2

Conan O’Brien introduced the Game of the Year nominees at last weekend’s Video Game Awards and had some short but insightful commentary on Bayonetta’s style.

Bayonetta2_Feature

“She looks like an incredibly dangerous real estate agent. Who really tones her butt. She’s not ashamed to show it, either. Look at the way she’s twisted and torqued. ‘Oh, are you seeing my bottom?‘”

Bayonetta2_Conan

Who Wore It Best? | Final Fantasy X-2 Lady Luck

FFX2_LadyLuck

Final Fantasy X-2 Lady Luck


Jillian

This is the culmination of all the holes these girls have been cutting into previous outfits. Paine’s crotch curtain is too much and again, pretty sure she cannot take a single step in that. Yuna looks like an amateur genie and I hate her shoulder capes. Rikku has the best gloves and shoes, although the fishnet stockings seem like overkill on the skimpiness. Her armpit ponytail has got to be tickling her like crazy.

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Rikku Yuna Paine

Erin

Paine looks totally uncomfortable in that outfit and in that pose. That is a LOT of skin. Rikku doesn’t really care, this is probably her casual wear. Yuna…this is the first time I noticed her long rattail. My mind totally blocked it out until I saw the wisp of hair near her leg. Anyway, I love the pink and purple with the gold necklace and belt. I hate cutouts, but everyone has them so I can’t really take points away for that.

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Yuna Rikku Paine

Joey

If there was some sort of cloth shortage and they had to cut holes in everything, sure, these outfits might be explainable. But then Paine’s long gloves and middle third of a dress makes negative sense. Yuna’s head fan looks so out of place that it distracts the eye. Although that might not be a bad thing. Rikku wins by default, but she should take no pride in that.

1st 2nd 3rd
Scores Rikku Yuna Paine

Winner: Rikku

RikkuLadyLuck