Some characters have way too many items of clothing in their wardrobe and could use a little anytime-Spring cleaning. In Wardrobe Review, we’ll dive into a character’s closet and pick what should stay and what needs to go, What Not To Wear trash bin style.

First up to bat: Miku Hatsune of SEGA’s most recent entry in its Project Diva series, and singer of the original Nyan Cat song.

As you can see in the video below, Project Diva is a rhythm game with music videos playing in the background featuring different Vocaloids. Each Vocaloid has an impressive variety of “modules,” or outfits, to equip, but Miku herself has the most with a whopping 73 different modules. Jillian and I lay out our favorites and least favorites below.

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Joey’s Picks: To Keep

I realized that I really don’t care for Miku’s default hairstyle. My three selections all reign in her absurdly long pigtails. Of the three, Noble is far and away my favorite. I love both uses of ribbons, the color selection, and especially the hairstyle. Simply gorgeous top to bottom. Too bad it takes a while to unlock since you get it for beating one of the last songs in the game on Hard, because I probably would have always just used this one.

I’ve always been a sucker for red hooded outfits so the Little Red was a shoe-in. I really enjoy the floral patterns on the dress and the matching ribbons on her back and neck combined with the mini ribbons . I’m also a big fan of the yellow stitches on red fabric. Lastly, while I usually despise head accessories, the random cat(dog?) with the crazed expression is too cute to hate on.

Violet Butterfly just looks classy to me. It’s a bit risqué but not completely over the top, so I think it works. It’s also one of the few outfits that seems to match my mental image of a “Diva.” As mentioned before, the shorter hair does wonders for me, and I enjoy the diamond motif.

Joey’s Picks: To Trash

Marionette is obviously a costume to fit in with a carnival-themed music video, but it still just looks atrocious to me. Maybe in Circus Performer Land (AKA Katy Perry Land) the polka dot sleeves, yellow balls on shoes, and striped baggy pink pants would fly, but not in the real world. Or whatever world it is that Miku lives in. It’s a short step away from full clown. You never go full clown. There’s also a variation that doesn’t include the mask that is slightly less offensive, but they’re both difficult to look at.

Urban Pop took all the worst things about the ’90s and put them in one outfit. We shouldn’t be seeing those colors on clothes in 2014. I still shudder to think that I owned shoes like those. Thankfully, I never sunk so low as to have pants with writing on them. Doesn’t calling yourself a diva negate your divaness? It’s like trying to say you’re breezy by saying “I’m breezy.” (Why yes, I have been watching Friends on Netflix.)

I can’t quite pinpoint what I dislike about Puffy Pastels. It looks like something you’d want to wear to sleep, but also looks strangely uncomfortable. It’s a weird mix of loose and tight that seems like a chore to sleep in. The top half looks like something a grandma might wear to bed whereas the bottom half looks like something a baby might wear to bed.

Jillian’s Picks: To Keep

The weird thing is, I was going to give Joey a hard time about picking Violet Butterfly because “whoa, purple!” but I’ve done the same thing.  I guess the muted grayish-purple on Ichi-no-Sakura Blossom is much easier on the eyes and less cartoony to me.  Also, since she’s wearing a uniform, it makes more sense for the entire thing to be one color.  I love the long, winglike sleeves, the flower detailing, the cute variation on the schoolgirl look, and even the weird cross between boots and geta. Looks classic, feels modern.

Memoria is a such a normal look for a girl who has half a dozen variations on cat costumes.  This is like a “real person” outfit, but still anime-cute.  I love her hair in sky blue with pigtails, which matches her blocked spring colors nicely.  Those boots look insanely comfortable and functional.  The shawl is borderline dowdy, but is saved by the light pink color, three-quarters sleeves, and asymmetrical cut.  The gloves and purple tights keep this from being too safe–again, purple!–but after seeing some of the nonsense (ahem, see “least favorites” below) this girl wears, I’m enjoying something a bit neutral.

Joey and I share a bit of suckerdom for Magician outfits, and this one is a class act all the way.  It’s perfectly tailored to show off Miku’s figure without falling into “slutty assistant” territory.  The thigh high boots give her legs for days, the ruffle shirt under two-button vest produces a very confident air, and the hot pink stripe on the top hat provides a hint of flash without devolving into circus ringmaster.  She just seems so sure of herself in this outfit that I expect her to coyly say, “Are you watching closely?”  Yes, yes I am.

Jillian’s Picks: To Trash

She looks like the board game Simon.  Is she supposed to be the board game Simon?  I might hate Linkage less on a darker background where she doesn’t just blend in like a white moth, but really, that’s probably not true.  If she’s not some playable human variation of the bop-it-twist-it-pull-it game, then she’s a really low-budget mo-cap suit.  Even Miku looks confused why this thing is on her body.   And she has the same giant button-cymbals on her head and butt?  Really, why?

This is the most confusing outfit I’ve ever seen.  First, she has puzzle-boxes magically floating around her pigtails.  Second, there’s some kind of rainbow lightning bolt shooting across her in a messy, drunkenly-painted zigzag. Third, I’m pretty sure she’s wearing a nurse’s cap for no apparent reason.  If Puffy Pastels is a chore to sleep in, Joey, then Hello, Good Night is a Saw-style sleep murder-trap.

I’ve never seen a devil outfit successfully pulled off.  I still haven’t.