Final Fantasy X-2 Psychic

Joey

What is Paine’s obsession with pants!? I might be terribly misinformed, but if my memories of wearing big t-shirts as pajamas are correct, skirts/dresses are way more comfy. Meanwhile, Yuna and Rikku take full advantage of skirts being socially acceptable for girls. I like Yuna’s a bit more because of the darker colors and knee-high socks.

Erin

Oh my god, Paine. You look like one of my grandmother’s housecoats. Rikku looks really cute in her ruffled blouse and pleated skirt, but Yuna really takes things over the top. She looks awesome! Like a fiesty Mary Poppins-type. The knee socks and boots might be my favorite footwear combo of all of them.

Jillian

I assumed this class was “Geordi La Forge” at first glance, but Psychic, okay. These are probably the best trio of outfits we’ve seen, besides the ridiculous hand orbs and eye gear. Rikku’s school girl style has a hint of pirate and that skirt looks designed for dancin’. Paine is a bit bland in so much white, but the ribbed detailing, ring pockets, and fuchsia lining keep her from blending into the background. Yuna is the clear winner, though, with a gorgeous royal blue fitted dress, striking bow tie, and absolutely badass boots that make even fuchsia kneesocks and laces look good.

Winner: Yuna

Final Fantasy X-2 Festivalist

Erin

I don’t know what Rikku is holding or what that blob is near her head. I’m going to say she’s holding a bag of live goldfish and is eating cotton candy. I love her polka dot PJs. I would love to have Paine’s cute blue and pink short kimono robe, but the fascinator thing she has makes things a little strange. I don’t really have anything negative to say about Yuna, other than I still hate her rattail.

Jillian

I’m glad the girls had time to throw a pajama party. Yuna’s rocking the traditional look and I love her explosive polka-dotted sash and overly-happy moogle sleeves. Rikku is all about comfort here, but her t-shirt has a nice asymmetrical angel cat detail that pops. Paine is combining tradition and comfort, but the chocobo mask and parasol are a bit overkill, and her cameltoe toes are distracting.

Joey

Masks don’t work that way, Paine. This is not the ’90s and you are not a rapper. I like both Rikku and Yuna’s outfits. I’m pretty sure that they’re yukatas and not pajamas. Yuna’s gets a slight edge because I like the long sleeves and pattern a bit more. The moogle pictures could be cuter though.

Winner: Yuna

Final Fantasy X-2 Mascot

Erin

I don’t know what reason they have for dressing up as these guys, but Rikku looks amazing in that cat costume. Bonus points for cute booties. Paine makes me uncomfortable. The blank staring eyes, the weird turtle-without-a-shell thing going on, the culty robes. No thanks. Yuna reminds me of an Ugly Doll. Cheer up, little cat bat bear.

Jillian

To begin with, I’m ridiculously offended that Rikku is a cait sith instead of a cactuar. That said, her costume is the best. The aggravated eyes, tiny crown, red kerchief, and light cheek blush all create an adorable yet deadly combo. Yuna’s zombie moogle looks depressed and like it’s been peed on. Paine’s tonberry actually manages to make the second cutest creature in the Final Fantasy universe hideous. Take your hand off your hip, you don’t deserve to be cocky.

Joey

I agree with Jillian that Paine has somehow ruined the tonberry look. Even her cactuar doll doesn’t save it. I’m also questioning the x-eyes on Yuna’s moogle. It would be so much cuter like this guy. Still, the eyes on the cait sith costume are too good at peering into my soul so I’m giving Yuna the slight edge.

Winner: Rikku

Final Fantasy X-2 Trainer

Jillian

We’ve gone from way-too-small shirts to ridiculously oversized sleeves. Yuna is actually too covered up here and her color scheme looks like day-old vomit. Rikku’s colors don’t match at all and her neck bra straps are doing nothing for “the girls.” Paine looks both comfortable and powerful here, with workable sleeves, a flowing skirt, and velvety bodice. Oh, and Rikku has a goat on her head.

Erin

The more I see Rikku, the less shocked I am by what’s going on with her. Of course she has a mystical goat on her head. Why wouldn’t she? It’s not so much the goat that is crazy to me now, its her ugly long sleeves. Paine looks like a pro with that bird on her arm and I like how the two are kinda matchy. Yuna, ugh. Day-old vomit is right, Jillian. All three women have too many things going on with laces in it. Biggest offender being the big blue skirt laces. Why why why?

Joey

Monkey=auto last place. Especially monkeys on heads. So unhygenic. Paine’s darker colors work better overall and even kind of match her bird. Yuna’s outfit seems to fit her much better than Rikku’s, with less excess cloth around the sleeves and the hem. All three should be ashamed for their lack of leashes though. So irresponsible.

Editor’s note: Joey was the only one who recognized Rikku’s headgear as a monkey. Erin and Jillian insist it’s at least a monkey pretending to be a goat.

Winner: Paine

Final Fantasy X-2 Berserker

Jillian

THUNDERCATS HOOO!! Not sure why Rikku has chosen to imitate a beast by being half-naked. At least she has a belt to hold up her…abs. Yuna’s gloves are comically oversized and the random hip cutouts are confusing. Paine manages to look moderately elegant in an otherwise ridiculous getup, has the best pattern combination, and seems to be distancing herself from the other trainwrecks.

Erin

I definitely agree with you about Paine, Jillian. The cat-cessories aren’t overdone on her and it works. Maybe Rikku is trying to imitate one of those hairless Sphinx cats? Either way, the belt classes things up. Yuna…the giant paws, hip cutouts, and huge amount of cleavage make her outfit a little tackier than Rikku’s.

Joey

I’m going with Rikku, but she would benefit from losing the stomach belt. Berserkers are all about throwing caution to the wind and sacrificing armor for offense. So Rikku’s skin-intensive look is doing it right. Paine’s colors have an artificial feel to them, so I give Yuna a slight edge for the more naturalistic look.

Winner: Paine

Final Fantasy X-2 Lady Luck

Jillian

This is the culmination of all the holes these girls have been cutting into previous outfits. Paine’s crotch curtain is too much and again, pretty sure she cannot take a single step in that. Yuna looks like an amateur genie and I hate her shoulder capes. Rikku has the best gloves and shoes, although the fishnet stockings seem like overkill on the skimpiness. Her armpit ponytail has got to be tickling her like crazy.

Erin

Paine looks totally uncomfortable in that outfit and in that pose. That is a LOT of skin. Rikku doesn’t really care, this is probably her casual wear. Yuna…this is the first time I noticed her long rattail. My mind totally blocked it out until I saw the wisp of hair near her leg. Anyway, I love the pink and purple with the gold necklace and belt. I hate cutouts, but everyone has them so I can’t really take points away for that.

Joey

If there was some sort of cloth shortage and they had to cut holes in everything, sure, these outfits might be explainable. But then Paine’s long gloves and middle third of a dress makes negative sense. Yuna’s head fan looks so out of place that it distracts the eye. Although that might not be a bad thing. Rikku wins by default, but she should take no pride in that.

Winner: Rikku

Final Fantasy X-2 Samurai

Jillian

Another set of bargain bin Halloween costumes. Pretty sure samurai usually have more than one small pleat of armor on their outfits. Paine is one giant regret: that helmet, the rainbow flares, and the soda can loops on her arms. Rikku is surprisingly boring besides whatever is growing out of her forehead. Yuna seems the most “samurai” of the lot, but that sword looks like a giant can opener.

Erin

Ok, Rikku is now wearing a bird on her head? Tell me that isn’t a bird head. The split in her robes makes it look a little more pirate-y than samurai. Paine…so many things went wrong for you. The giant buttons, the pleated bell bottoms, fringe arms? You are the worst. I really like Yuna’s robes and colors and her sword definitely is the most fearsome.

Joey

Paine and Yuna must have been reading the Rainbow Brite guide to samurai. So many bright colors! I’m not sure why birds on heads are so offensive to you, but overall I like Rikku’s outfit and sword the best. Yuna gets a slight edge over Paine for a helmet that might somewhat useful. Paine’s would even protect her from Rikku’s bird’s droppings.

Winner: Yuna

Final Fantasy X-2 Dark Knight

Erin

All I see are three seahorses. Rikku has the most interesting helmet, Paine has a crazy intimidating serrated sword, Yuna looks like she’s muffled in a turtleneck.

Jillian

I can’t get past their helmets, so that will be how judgement is wrought. Yuna’s looks like a metallic court jester and Paine’s is some kind of Geisha fan. Rikku’s is a pissed-off unicorn that wears the horns of other unicorns it has murdered like a tooth necklace, so Rikku. Okay, I looked past their helmets briefly and Yuna needs a new pair of undies.

Joey

What would happen if you stabbed someone with Rikku’s sword? Mythbusters, get on it. Rikku gets last for what appear to be totally exposed knees and the least dark armor. Somehow the geisha armor is more intimidating than the jester armor, so I give Paine the top spot.

Winner(s): Rikku and Paine

Final Fantasy X-2 Alchemist

Erin

I’m going to ignore that they’re supposed to be alchemists. They’d fit right in as extras in Mad Max. Or maybe in a gun fighting roller derby? Yuna’s color scheme made me think of Robotnik from Sonic the Hedgehog. I don’t care for her bulky swiss cheese wheel shoulder pads. Paine’s gun is large and in charge, but those orange panties say “here’s my crotch!” It’s very distracting. Rikku’s outfit is pretty similar to Paine’s, but her hair kind of works with this for once. Good for you, Rikku.

Jillian

This looks like some kind of Goodwill hodgepodge of their Gunner, Warrior, and Black Mage outfits, creating an even worse eyesore than any of those were alone. Yuna looks like she’s in the process of being digested by a robot. Paine’s orange crotch has blinded me as well, Erin, and the pink suspender outlines aren’t helping. Rikku’s colors actually work here and she’s a thankfully toned-down version of everything terrible the other two are doing.

Joey

Not sure why Paine’s gun is so much bigger than the other two. She’s already got the “here’s my crotch” action going on. Neither is as repulsive as the pink straps. I agree that Rikku pulls it off best with a more pleasing color combination and less audacious shoulder pads. Shoulder armor? Metal things on shoulders with holes in them.

Winner: Rikku